Menulis-menulis-menulis

1. Myself
I'm really tired today and suppose I should get some rest. But I must write something to let go anything in my mind. Today, I went out after 6 pm. Usually by 4 pm dah keluar and I will be the earliest person from the BI department. But not today. I had to complete one task, a simple one and I suppose to manage it until lunch. But I failed. It took like berkurun for me to complete this simple thing T_T Seriously I want to give up on that time but when I think I wisely I should finish no matter any approach I use as long as I get the results and finish up before I go back. Plus Monday will be off because of labour day. I know Julie kind of bored with me as she taught many times but I don't get the point what actually I should do. I do not know why it's hard for me to listen her explaination. Is that because of language or my brain not fully functional. It seems that I always make the same mistakes. Dia terang kot lain aku faham kot lain.Because sometimes it's not clear for me when they speak english in french slang. I felt so bad today. Low self esteem. I just wanna to cry. Bila people say bye bye to me, I reply and smile. But it was a fake smile. Even though tak puasa tapi I memang tak makan. My last food was last morning breakfast. Then I realized today about my self. 
1. if i really want this thing work out i can push myself to the max.
2. i can work under stress even though people around me keep talking, laughing and listening to the music. 
The only think that I have is may be because of the motivation and the responsibility that I should play when I come back soon. 

2. Research
Sometimes being scepticism  is part of the scientist behavior. It might because of the way we work is based on the fact, for each claim u must have evidence and support literature to claim that this is your successful invention.One thing in research is u must be creative as u should think the problem statement in your life. From that u can start figure out what thing u should do to overcome the problem. This is why we called it re-search. U do , redo and redo, re-search and re-search. I learn a lot after 2 years doing research. U kena independent, sabar, kreatif, selalu berfikir how to solve this problem, sentiasa keluarkan idea baru and draw it on the paper. If not you dont get the connection about it.  Kadang-kadang bila buat master ni, tak semestinya kita akan apply apa yang kita buat tu. Bila aku fikir balik lebih kepada kita belajar tentang diri kita dan kehidupan. Belajar mematangkan diri, sabar, berpendirian tetap, kreatif, berani ambil risiko dan komunikasi. Ilmu yang kita dapat tu adalah nilai tambah dalam diri berbanding orang lain. Tapi pelajaran tentang kehidupan masa buat research tu lah yang sangat bernilai. Bila dah ada pengalaman tu insya Allah lepas-lepas ni apa pun jua masalah yang sama kita boleh overcome. Sabar tu tak payah cakaplah memang kena sabar sungguh-sungguh. Kena sanggup tanggung risiko dari segi kewangan dan kestabilan hidup. Berani ambil risiko bila kita berani mencuba kaedah baru. Challenge yourself. Kreatif dalam mencari penyelesaian kepada masalah dan penuh dengan idea yang baru. Itu sikit-sikit yang aku boleh kongsi dengan u all semua. This weekend akan dipenuhi dengan aktiviti menulis-menulis-dan menulis.